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The Alcove: Part II of My Search For the Perfect Literary Boyfriend

February 6, 2011

Scarey shiz was seen in order to bring you this image. Seriously avoid the internet at all costs if you’re not 100% sure what you want. Scarey shiz. Anywho before we begin I’d like to advise anyone who missed part one of this blog series to read it and you can do so by clicking here. So everyone know what’s going on? Fabulous! Time to dive into part II which features books housed in a little alcove type area in my desk. This area is home to 19 paperbacks, 8 of which I have not read and they are: Shopaholic Ties the Knot by Sophie Kinsella, Derik’s Bane by MaryJanice Davidson, Express Male by Elizabeth Beverly, Addicted to Love by Lori Wilde, The Fallen books 2 & 4 (Leviathan and Reckoning respectively) by Thomas E. Sniegoski, Primal Needs by Susan Sizemore and The Bride Price by Anne Mallory. These books are not permitted to submit their male love interests as I know nothing about them which would make it pointless to judge them.

However we still have 11 books that can submit a candidate and if that candidate gets a rating higher than 3, the average score achieved in part I, they will be eligible to compete for the title of Most Awesome Literary Boyfriend of All Time. Let’s get started!

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1. Talking to Dragons book four of The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede. The Candidate: Daystar

Daystar is the son of the sleeping prince yet doesn’t know it as his mother hide this from him until he was old enough to fulfil his destiny of saving his father and restoring order to the kingdom. (+1) He is also very polite as this is how his mother raised him. (+1) In the end all is right in the kingdom and they’re all one big happy family again. (+1 for fulfilling his destiny.) Plus 2 for cool dragons and sword skills. We’ll give Daystar a score of 5.

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2. Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella The Candidate: Luke Brandon

The head/creator of a PR company, ‘Brandon Communications’ that is very successful which helpe.d make him the thirty-first richest bachelor in the country (of England). (PR=boring, money=+ so those two cancel each other out.)  He helps Becky out when she needs money even before he knew her. (+1) He let her help him shop without telling her it was for his girlfriend until afterwards so -2. However Luke was more than willing to help Becky learn to ‘talk the talk’ around banking and investment people. (+1) He was a sweet person in the end even if he did get mad at Becky that one time at the end. (+1) English (+1) So Luke you get a score of 2. So sorry.

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3. Undead and Unwed by MaryJanice Davidson. The Candidate: Eric Sinclair

Ah Sinklair, how nice to finally judge you. I’ll be blunt you get one point for each of the following: buying Betsy lots and lots of expensive designer shoes, being rich, and being wicked sexy. That’s 3 points for you right there. Now for your terrible qualities: Uh hello? You totally tricked Betsy into having sex with you so you could be the king of the vampires for a thousand years, or maybe it’s only a hundred. Either way it’s a lot of years. You’re a vampire but you don’t sparkle so I won’t hold that against you. Also could you not be so cryptic? But you really do love Betsy so I’ll give you a point for that. So that would put you at 3 points exactly. Sorry Sinklair. (Note, I have nothing against Sinclair I just like making fun of him. Mark was better but he’s gay so that wouldn’t really work out to well. These books are awesome btw.)

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4. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine. The Candidate: Prince Charmont

The book and the movie are so radically different that I fear I will do a poor job of analysing the book character as I really do love the movie despite it’s, creative liberties. Char gets a point for being a prince and all that comes with it: looks, money, fame, blah blah blah. Kinda clichéd there. Plus 1 for keeping a journal in a non emo way, which is a very important factoid to consider. Char also saved Ella from ogres of the non Shriek variety in addition to being Ella’s friend despite their different social standings. (+2) He wrote Ella many letters when he was sent away on diplomatic business even asking about marriage because he managed to fall in love with her VIA HER LETTERS! Not because she acted like a slut or did his every bidding, he fell in love with her because of who she was. (+2) Does he not sound wonderful ladies? And picture him as Hugh Dancy who played him in the movie. *Swoon* And he didn’t give up on his love for her when she lied and said she’d married another in order to protect him. This leaves Char with 6 points and us with a complete lack of faith in human males as none can be as perfect as him. Ever.

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5. The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine. The Candidate: Rhys

In sorcerer years Rhys is 78 but only 17 in human years. (I’m confused on how that worked too.) So point for magic. Unlike many sorcerers he has affection towards humans including our heroine Princess Addie and plans to marry her despite his mentor’s objections. (+1) He gives Addie several useful magical objects to help her with her quest (+1) and that’s about all I remember about him. Maybe he was funny but in the name of fairness I’ll only rate the hard-core facts and leave him at 3 points as I don’t remember him having any flaws.

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Photo Source: http://img3.fkcdn.com

6. The Wish by Gail Carson Levine. The Candidate: Jared

The first thing that comes to mind about this book is the kissing rules, a very important lesson for all young girls to read. You know if you worry about being a really crappy kisser when you finally do kiss someone like I did. I shall post them for you now and consider it my act of community work for the day:

The Kissing Rules

 #1 Take your time

 #2 You need a romantic setting

 #3 The kissers should like each other

 #4 Have fun

 #5 You can kiss with your mouth open or closed

 #6 You can stop at any time

 #7 66th street is a kissing zone

#100 Always kiss your girlfriend’s dog

I didn’t make up a single one. Jared is unpopular but he loved Wilma before the popularity spell and afterwards. (+1) That’s about it. The book focused more on Wilma’s popularity with the IN crowd more than her reluctant relationship with Jared. It was his charm and humorous stories that sold us all, not his heavy usage. So +1. He’s also writes poems that I’m pretty sure weren’t emo and half sure were the ones Wilma received from her ‘secret admirer’. (+1) This leaves Jared with a 3.

Photo Source: http://img.amazon.ca

7. The Calliope Reaper-Jones series by Amber Benson. Owned Death’s Daughter and Cat’s Claw.  The Candidate: Daniel

I’d like to point out that these books were the only books I ever bought without reading a the library first or having already read part of the series and my money did not do to waste as Miss Benson has well-earned any and all praise she receives. Daniel wasn’t in the 2nd book really, mostly because at the end of the first book he sacrificed himself thus proving himself worthy of Callie’s love and all the readers in general even if they held the fact that he was The Devil’s Protegé against him. (+3) However they have this soul connection thing which means they could be soul mates in a way as the soul connection thing came about in a weird way. He’s also wicked sexy and on the side of good mostly despite working for the devil. (+2) I’d take a point of for being dead by I’m hoping he’ll wind up secretly alive or be brought back to life in the 3rd book Serpent’s Storm coming out later this month. Being The Devil’s Protegé means he has some magical ability and the power of portals (free trips to Europe baby!!!) so plus 1 for that. We’ll leave Daniel and my secret love for bad boys with heart at 6 points.

8 The Fallen by Thomas E. Sniegoski. The Candidate: Aaron Corbett

Yes this series was turned into a series of movies starring Paul Wesley of The Vampire Diaries and yes it is long but rather worth it. Sorry I was talking about the movie not the book. The book was very good considering I read it fairly soon after watching the movies. Aaron is a nephilem, the offspring of an angel/human pairing which means he has cool powers. Like wings, the power of redemption, and the ability to understand any and all languages while being nothing like the nephilem in Bryan Davis’ work. (+2) He also has some anger issues but he makes up for that by having a dog as his one and only companion who yes he can have a conversation with. (See cool powers.) He also has this prophecy he has to fulfil and what not which has to do with giving fallen angels redemption so they can go back to heaven.  (+1) Aaron was likeable enough but we didn’t get to spend enough time with him in this first book to fall in love with him the way we did during the movie which is why Aaron is only getting a 3 despite his likeability. (Plus I’m not really his type.)

9. Patiently Alice and Almost Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. The Candidate: Patrick Long

Alice is the only reason I turned out normal. (Granted Meg Cabot helped so it was a more combined effort on their part.) Alice went threw everything for me, well pretty much. At the very beginning of the series, not the prequels, Alice found the perfect man, Patrick. They had many ups and downs threw out the years but he was ALWAYS there when she needed him most (+1). Patrick was also smart enough to graduate high school in 3 years (+1 for brains) Yet there was that Penny thing (-1) and in the earlier books Alice more or less breaks up with him because she missed having him as a ‘friend’ yes, the perfect man and she wants him as a friend? Clearly a reread is in order. Patrick is also musically inclined, he plays drums, and manages to make the long distance ‘we’re together but sort of not’ thing work. (+1) He also doesn’t pressure the sex thing which gets him awesome points in my book. (+1) There are currently 25 books in the series with the final one coming out in May so even if you take Patrick’s absence in the prequels out (and his limited use in later books) they still had a long and complicated history which is hard to judge beyond this point so I’ll leave Patrick with a respectable 3.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for…Our list of candidates who get to advance to the next round are: Prince Charmont with 6 points, Daniel with 6 points and Daystar with 5 points. We now have some princes and The Devil’s Protegé to add into the mix that is my list of characters who are Potentially Perfect Boyfriend Material. The next post in this series will focus on the section I call ‘The Stereo Shelf’ because I have my iPod dock on top of it. That shelf will be…interesting? Scary most likely. There are a lot of books. A lot. And 70% have the same theme. I’ll leave you with that little teaser while you share your thoughts on this round of my quest for the perfect literary boyfriend.

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