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Chick Lit vs. Mysteries & Harry Potter Part IV of My Search for The Perfect Literary Boyfriend

February 28, 2011

Photo Source: lindsay0819.livejournal.com

Finally the moment you’ve all been waiting for…Chick lit, mystery novels and Harry Freaking Potter! Parts I, II & III of this series had some groovy and amazing books in it but this shelf is the shelf with some of my absolute FAVORITES. And by favorites I mean if I was stranded on a deserted island with the remaining (Living) cast of Gilligan’s Island or Buffy & the Winchesters failed to prevent the apocalypse from happening (Not that this would EVER happen mind you) and I could only have/save so many books a majority if not all of those books would be found on this shelf. This shelf houses an impressive 77 books plus 7 Harry Potters found in the family bookshelf that have to be included because Harry is awesome end of freaking story. That gives me 84 books to dissect for perfect literary boyfriend candidates.

But wait! The following books have yet to be read and therefore aren’t eligible: Belle of the Brawl by Lisi Harrison, Confessions by Kate Brian, Stephanie Plum: Ten Big Ones, Lean Mean Thirteen, Plum Lovin’ & Plum Lucky by Janet Evanovich & Summer Lovin’ by Carly Phillips. I’m also excluding The Giver & Gathering Blue as while thought provoking, not much by way of romance. That leaves us with 75 books but most of them are series so it’s really not that many. (Lies! Lies I say! Buckle up kids, it’s a long one. But awesome, always awesome.)

Alright let’s start! Moving from top to bottom-

Photo Source: ForeverYoungAdult.com

1. The Mediator Series by Meg Cabot. Owned: Shadowland (1) & Twilight (6). The Candidates: Jesse de Silva & Paul Slater

When I’m done with this series of posts I have to write a post titled ‘Why Suze Simon is Buffy Summer’s Ghostbusting Twin: A Comparative Look at Meg Cabot’s The Mediator and Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. It sadly took me way to long to figure this out and when I did it was one of the biggest ‘Duh!’ moments of my life. True story. But on to the boys and boy are they hot.

Jesse was a cowboy back in the day and now he’s a ghost who lives in Suze’s bedroom. He has awesome ghostly powers and has lots of gentlemanly morals. (No pervert behavior from him.) He knows a relationship with Suze can go no where but while she could send him to the great beyond he never once forces her to do so because he worries about her and wants to be there to protect her. He wants her to love someone living but can’t help himself when she makes it clear she only wants him. He’s also the one one who can tame the cat who lives with Suze. We’ll give Jesse a 7, 8? I kind of lost tract there. Plus I don’t want to ruin the ending for you!

If Jesse is the Angel to Suze’s Buffy than Paul is the Spike/Riley character. (I know heads are rolling over this analogy.) Paul was the anti-Jesse. He was a mediator, knew a lot more about it than Giles I mean Father Dom, and was kind of bad. There was no line for him that said ‘this my limit I will not do that even if it means ending up with Suze at the end of the final book.’ He was manipulative and sexy. And also figured out *Spoiler* Time Travel *Spoiler*. Yeah I want to be Team Paul for about 2 seconds. Okay done now. When you factor in the fact that he almost completely ruined the Jesse/Suze relationship at least twice, was really anoying and I kind hated him at times, I’d say Paul deserves a 4. (He is a Cabot boy and even when evil are just plain better than most men.)

Photo Source: Harpercollins.com

2. All-American Girl by Meg Cabot. The Candidate: David (Last name unknown)

David is an artist and the president’s son which he tried to hide for as long as possible. He has a body guard. He is slightly over shadowed by Jack, Lucy’s boyfriend during the begining of the book as Sam is madly in love with him and doesn’t fall for David until later in the book when she realizes how much better David is. (Eventually Lucy will realize what a waste of space Jack is too.) David did lots of sweet things for Sam in an attempt to woo her like decorating the helmet he gave her to protect her hair from the parrot in art class. And carving their initials into a windowsil in the white house. He also managed to still love Sam even after she used him to make Jack jealous and generally treat him like crap but he loved her and was willing to look past it. David totally deserves a 5 for this.

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Photo Source: farm1.static.flickr.com

3. Pants on Fire by Meg Cabot. The Candidate: Tommy Sullivan

Tommy Sullivan is a freak. He also got very hot from the last time our heroine Katie saw him last back in middle school. Fast forward a few years and Tommy, now ‘just Tom’ is back in town after leaving right after the freak insidence, mega hot and the only person in town who knows Katie’s secrets. And he gives her hell for it. But it’s because of Tom that Katie’s secrets start coming out and her life actually gets better! Honesty really is the best policy. He spied on Katie, made sarcastic comments and totally held onto his abandonment issues she caused him in middle school. But he falls for her anyway and refuses to become secret boyfriend number 2 (Katie already had a boyfriend and a secret boyfriend but was not a slut) but kisses her a few times anyway. I rank Tom as a 3, not my favorite Cabot boy but a great read none the less.

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Photo Source: HarperCollins.com

4. How to be Popular by Meg Cabot. The Candidate: Jason

If memory serves *Spoiler* Steph and Jason fall in love and let their feelings for each other be known right around the time they end up kinda sorta related. Their grandparents got married or something. Which is just weird, kinda. (yes) *Spoiler* Jason liked Steph before she tried to be all cool and popular. He just didn’t know how to tell her. He was nerdy but hot. Also a way better guy than Mark Finley the quarterback. That’s all I remember about him. We’ll give him a 3.

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Photo Source Amazon.com

5. Avalon High by Meg Cabot. The Candidate: Will Wagner

Ignore everything you learned about Will Wagner in the Disney Channel Movie except the part where Will is hot (IMHO which a lot of people would disagree with.) a quarterback and an all American good guy. Everything else in that movie was wrong. I ranted about it here but in a semi journalistic way (meaning I tried not to save anything terrible). What the movie failed to mention was that Will has a dog, a boat, morrals (i.e. living with his girlfriend and her parents and being a total gentleman about it oh wait that was the manga), daddy issues, step/half brother issues, and is oh yeah the piece deresistence and major spoiler alert the REINCARNATION OF PRINCE FREAKING ARTHUR. Ok maybe not THAT Prince Arthur per say but that video pretty much sums up my general reaction to the thought of Prince Arthur and Camelot in general. Except this one book I read but lets not dwell on that. (No I don’t remember the title but I’d recognize the cover.) Back to Will who is awesome. He didn’t want to except his destiny but managed to do so inorder to restore order to the world and yes he had a hard time dealing with the news that his step mother was really his mother but he managed to deal with the whole ‘my girlfriend and my best friend are sneaking around behind my back’ thing very well considering. This may have something to do with the fact that he and Jen hadn’t been in love for awhile but he was too good a guy to tell her that he simply didn’t love her anymore. (Plus before Ellie he didn’t really have a reason to.) I think Will deserves a 5.

6. The Airhead Trilogy by Meg Cabot. Owned: Airhead & Being Nikki. The Candidate: Christopher Maloney!

Christopher is an evil genious who reads comic books and that is all. Plus this series reminds me of Dollhouse. Automatic 6. Ok kidding, sort of. Christopher took the ‘death’ of his best friend Em Wats our heroine very hard and sought revenge while resisting the charm of super model extrordinarie Nikki Howard (Not to be confused with Nikki Heat) who is actually Em. He plays video games and really did have a crush on Em before she died or maybe he didn’t realize he liked her until she ‘died’. (The story was told from Em’s point of view.) however he did love Em for her when he realized she was Nikki Howard and they *Spoiler* lived happily ever after even thou they still argue. *Spoiler* I stand by my hasty desicion of 6.

7. The Princess Diaries Series by Meg Cabot. Owned: The Princess Diaries, Princess in the Spotlight, Princess in Waiting and Princess in Pink. The Candidate: Michael Moscovitz!

*Side note: This picture is gorgeous!

This is the series that started it all. The first time I read this series all I noticed was the Star Wars references but when I reread it I suddenly saw all the Buffy references and thought ‘huh, maybe this show is something I should watch’ couple months later I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Movie and then I watched the show and as you can tell from the header and my frequent referencing to all things Joss Whedon by the time Buffy said “It’s in about 5 hours moron.” (re-sunrise) I was hooked.

So Michael, the perfect man. The standard to which we hold all other Cabot boys. You have to forgive him for the whole moving to Japan for a year in order to build that robotic arm thing because he just wanted to do something worthy of Mia and her princess hood. And I supposs we can forgive him for not thinking it’s a big deal that he lost his virginity to that chick who cloned fruit flies before he and Mia were dating and didn’t think it was important to mention until oh, right before Mia decides to give him her virginity so he doesn’t sleep with any geshias in Japan. (As we saw in Easy A guys view sex very differently from us women. Meaning they often view it the wrong way.) We can forgive Michael for these things because he’s very sweet and romantic, loved Mia before the princess thing, supported her writing, was always there for her, the list goes on and on. He was in a band, went to college, ran a webzine at one point, and is a smart computer guy. (case in point robotic arm) I give Michael an 8.

8. Teen Idol by Meg Cabot. The Candidate: Scott Bennett

Another Cabot boy who was good but not my favorite (Michael, Christoper, Will & Jesse) however Scott had his good points. He was the life long friend you don’t think you have feelings for but you really do because you’re friends with a really great guy. Scott works on the school newspaper as I believe editor in chief and if memory serves he’s the only person who knows Jenny is Ask Annie. Scott and his girlfriend eventually breakup and he and Jenny have a very sweet heart to heart that ends with them as a couple. I give him a 3.

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9. Pretty Little Liars series by Sara Shepard. Owned: Pretty Little Liars, Flawless & Killer. The Candidates: Ezra Fitz, Toby Cavanaugh, Sean Ackard, Noel Kahn, Ian Thomas, Darren Wilden and Mike Montgomery.

I’m not going to lie, these books are kind of addicting and really fun to read but I don’t know if i’d date any of the male characters per say. On the one hand you have Ezra Fitz who’s having an affair with one of his 16 year old students, Toby Cavanaugh who used to molest his sister, Sean Ackard who’s into the whole virginity thing which isn’t to terrible really but he didn’t have any redeeming qualities besides having money and Noel Kahn who is a drunken party boy contrary to what the tv show may have you believe. Don’t get me started on Ian he sucked, Darren Wilden was messed up on so many levels, Mike Montgomery is the only semi datable one and in the first few books he was simply Aria’s little brother who was like the male version of my sister only more annoying and there was more preverted toilet humor. So, despite the addictivness of these books, I wouldn’t date any of these boys. Boys, you do not get a rose.

10. Lucky T by Kate Brian. The Candidate: Dee

Carrie went to India to get her favorite T-shirt back and ended up with a boyfriend. Dee was very sweet and good with children. That’s all I can remember. (The internet wasn’t much help) so we’ll give Dee a solid 2 and move on.

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11. Audrey, Wait! By Robin Benway. The Candidate: James

This book is great. Who was there to support Audrey when after she dumbs her boyfriend and tries to go about her normal life in a normal (sucky) job and her ex decides to write a song about their break up which becomes the new number one chart topper catapulting her ex into fame and fortune and the money to recreate their break up scene for a music video while she’s stuck dealing with reporters who don’t know her side of the story? James her co-worker at The Scooper Dooper! Apparently it is possible to find love in a crappy dead end job, who knew? James does mix cds and has a mild case of OCD a.k.a. the male version of me. James is also described as a bit of a hotty. (I also love the name James) James speaks music and I don’t mean cords, he speaks bands, obeys rules parents of girls he wants to date impose and is sweet, witty and charming. I think James deserves a 5 for this.

12. Assorted Nancy Drew novels by Caroline Keene. The Candidate: Ned Nickerson

Ah Ned, you were so tragically butchered with the TV version(s) of you. You help Nancy solve crime, you go to college, you’re a good looking athlete, you hold down a job, you’re a non-Dick Casablancas frat boy which actually makes you a little boring but a good guy non the less. You support Nancy’s dangerous lifestyle even though you worry about her constantly. You could potentially be useful in the apocalypse as you frequently save Nancy’s life. I suppose I can give you a 4 for that. If you never read Nancy Drew as a child I feel bad for you btw.

13. Assorted Hardy Boys novels by Franklin W. Dickson. The Candidates: Frank & Joe Hardy

Joe may be the funny one out of the bunch but I’m a Frank girl all the way. He was always smarter, better looking and older than Joe. If the apocalypse comes Joe might keep your spirits up but Frank will keep you alive because he can defuze bombs (*swoon*). The boys tend to own vehicles that are a tad on the shadey side but they make up for it with awesome motorcycles. Both boys are athletic though Frank works for his while Joe seems to maintain his good form naturally. (Point Frank here as watching a guy do pull ups is way better than being jealous of your boyfriend being able to eat more cookies than you and not get fat.) At one point Frank took up fencing which is awesome and something I’d love to learn and can play a decent game of chess. (I love a good game of chess.) So Frank will be given a 5 and Joe can have a 4.

Photo Source: http://i43.tower.com

14. Nikki Heat by Richard Castle. The Candidate: Jameson Rook

Show me a woman who can resist Nathan Fillion’s charms and I’ll prove said woman is a man hating lesbian even if she doesn’t know she’s one because that is the only expectable excuse you get for not being madly in love with Richard Castle. Jameson Rook is essentially the book version of Richard Castle, Nathan Fillon’s character on Castle only he gets the girl in the end. He’s a journalist, is humorous, charming in a slightly annoying way until you fall head over heels for him. If you want to see why he deserves a 5 I recomend watching this.

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15. The Encyclopedia Brown series by Donald J. Sobol. Owned: Encyclopedia Brown takes the case, Encyclopedia Brown Solves Them All and Encyclopedia Brown The Case of the Exploding Plumbing. The Candidate: Encyclopedia Brown.

Raise your hand if you wanted to be as smart and observant as Encyclopedia Brown when you were younger. Yeah didn’t happen but that’s ok. I don’t want to say that I have no feelings for him because he’s so young or so serious but it’s kind of the truth. Encyclopedia Brown is the smart person who figures out the whole crime simply because he catches that one little detail that blows the other wise uncrackable crime wide open. Yet some how I’m just not feeling it. Maybe he’s just too smart and not funny enough. Encyclopedia Brown you have been voted off the island.

16. Stephanie Plum Series by Janet Evanovich. Owned: One for the Money, Hot Six & To the Nines (2 copies as I don’t know which cover I like better). The Candidate: Joe Morelli

Come on you guys, Morelli over Ranger. Sure Ranger drives a bunch of really cool cars, has a mini well trained Ranger army at his disposal and has unlimited money, that’s about all we know about him other than the fact that he’s secretive and minipulative. Morelli on the other hand, his only flaw is that he wants Stephanie out of the bounty hunter business. Morelli’s got everything else going for him (Other than the scary grandma) Jason O’Mara is playing him in the movie adaption of One For the Money that opens in theaters July 8th, he’s a cop, he used to be a bad boy but now he’s a guy with a past who’s not afraid to use it, he has a dog, and is wicked sexy. See totally better than Ranger. Morelli gets a 5.

17. Fearless Super Edition #1 Before Gaia & Fearless FBI #4 by Francine Pascal. The Candidates: Ed Fargo a.k.a. Shred

Ed technically isn’t in the super edition and was in the final FBI book at the very end (literaly) when Gaia called him but he was by far my favorite of all of Gaia’s boyfriends/friends. Ed was Gaia’s first friend, wheelchair bound thanks to a skateboarding accident for most of the series, always there when Gaia needed him (sometimes even when she didn’t think she needed him), uses his witty charm and one liners for good not evil though he often hides his real feelings behind them. While Ed later distances himself from Gaia it wasn’t entierly his fault as he was slightly pushed out by other love interests and Gaia’s crazy life in general but in the end, the very, very end, Ed was still there. Except when the WB tried to turn this series into a TV show starring Rachel Leigh Cook and Ian Somberhalder. I’m not sure if this show getting replaced with One Tree Hill is a good thing or a bad thing. Anywho Ed Totes deserves a 4. (P.S. My thought on the show that wasn’t? It needed Summer Glau as Gaia, a girl born without the fear gene as everyone knows Summer Glau has no fear.)

18. The Clique series by Lisi Harrison. Owned: The Clique, Best Friends For Never, Revenge of the Wannabes and P. S. I Loathe You. The Candidates: Cam Fisher, Derrick Harrington and Josh Holtz

Ah Cam you are pretty great considering you’re in middle school. Mix cds, unlimited supply of candy, sweet personality, unfortunately you just don’t get that sometimes girls need to fight with each other, seek revenge at each other and sometimes just ignore men all together and focus on themselves because girl friends are forever. You also took forever to inform Claire that yes you notice her and yes you like her. I rate you at 3.

Derrick ‘Derrington’ Harrington is a soccor player who lost a bet and has to wear shorts even in the dead of winter. He is funny in an obnoxtious 13 year old boy way. All I remember about Josh is that he played soccor. I rate Derrick and Josh at 2. Please exit threw the rear gentleman.

19. Gossip Girl series by Cecily Von Ziegeser. Owned: Gossip Girl, You Know You Love Me, Because Im Worth It, I Like It Like That and Nobody Does It Better. The Candidates: Chuck Bass, Nate Archibald & Dan Humphrey

The boys you are about to read about are very different from the boys on the tv show. First off, Chuck? Not gay but very questionable, a total ass and what’s up with the monkey dudes? Chuck may be rich but he isn’t nearly as fabulous a dresser as his is on the show nor is he anywhere near as sweet. (Like when he went all over Europe to get Blair her favorite things in-order to apologize?) Also remember in the pilot where he almost rapped Jenny? He acts like that a lot in the books. Chuck Bass you were an entertaining character but as a real life boyfriend candidate-you suck.

Then there’s Nate Archibald, chronic pot smoker and indecisive when it comes to women. So indecisive that he in fact cheats on Blair and Serena several times, quite often with each other. On the flip side he’s hot, rich, plays lacrosse (I believe, basketball with his friends for sure) and sails. If you can get past the constant high and infidelity he’s a great catch. To bad I can’t. Nate I’m going to give you a 2 just because you were always my favorite.

Last but not least Dan Humphrey. Penn Bagley plays Dan nothing like Dan in the books which is kind of a good thing. This Dan is a tortured emo poet, coffee addict (Not a bad thing according to Gilmore Girls which is the law.), rather lazy and just kind of weird. He went gay for a bit but it was totally an accident. He’s your stereotype New York breed struggling, creatively wacked writer. Just a little too off the beaten path for me, Dan take your 1 with honor.

20. The A-List series by Zoey Dean. Owned: Tall Cool One, Some Like It Hot, American Beauty and Heart of Glass. The Candidates: Ben Birnbaum, Adam Flood, and Parker Pinelli

The A-List is arguably better than Gossip Girl mostly because it had a spin-off series that was not just readable but GOOD! Further superiority is that the characters are a tad more realisticly normal though they’re still mega rich and do crazy rich people things and the clothes are to die for. Also the boys? Yum! Our first candidate is Ben, Anna met him on the plane trip to LA and he saved her from an evil seatmate. Ben attends Princeton and Anna loses her virginity to him. He is also tall, hot, sweet, rich and a good guy…with a flaw. The trio of girls: Sam, Cammie and Dee, Anna befriends are all in love with him too and Ben dated Cammie for a bit but when Anna arrives in LA and attends a party as Ben’s date MEOW! Claws come out. Ben also had a habit of seeing other people when he and Anna were in one of there many ‘off’ periods and not thinking of them as serious when they really kind of were. Ben, you may recieve your score of 3 now.

Adam Flood: The all around nice guy with a star tattoo behind his ear (which he got before this was concidered a cool thing to do in the real world) who was heartbroken when Anna dumped him for Ben. He then started dating Cammie and helped her deal with her mother’s death/finding out the truth. He was a steady rock for her to lean on in her time of need. Adam totally deserves a 4 for this.

Parker Pinelli: While not for everyone Parker was a rather entertaining character. He wanted to be an actor and was going to do anything to get his James Dean looks on screen. He had more failures and bit parts than the gang could count but no one felt particularily bad for him as they all thought he was as rich as they were and didn’t ‘need’ to succeed in order to support himself. The gang was wrong in their assumption but Parker being a more minor character didn’t recieve much more support, however when he managed an acting accomplishment the gang was always right there to celebrate. Parker was always a bit of a character, trying to act high and mighty to fit in with the rest of the gang so we’ll give him a 2 for effort.

21. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Ann Brashares. Owned: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Girls in Pants. The Candidates: Eric, Kostos & Brian (Carmen rarely had a love interest and they were rarely interesting.)

Our first guy, Eric, is a soccer coach at the summer camp Bridget attends and their romance is forbiden. I can’t remember how old he was but the after affects of their romance where not good for Bridget’s mental stability. Later when they meet up again in the 3rd book he breaks up with his girlfriend in order to be with her. I rate him at 2.

Ah Kostos. You were a REALLY hot Greek summer fling but alas, you became ‘depressed’ over Lena breaking up with you so you knocked up some random chick you had to marry because you are ‘a gentleman’. Rating- sucky

Brian: Nerd hotty! He put up with a lot of crap considering he was Tibby’s love interest but he was always there waiting when Tibby got done dealing with her crap. He also had to wait around a lot while Tibby worked out her feelings for him. Rating-2

*Obviously a bit more happened in the 4th book but I won’t spoil it for you. Plus I’m trying to stick to the books I actually own.

22. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. Owned: All of them. The Candidate: Harry Freaking Potter!

All other men are totally eclipsed by Harry and that is that. Harry Potter is a wizard! He saved everyone who wasn’t already dead from Voldemort and the Death Eaters in the final book. (RIP – A lot of people I loved) He was a Quidditch star. He defeated a giant snake at age 12, with a sword! He’s Harry Freaking Potter! I never really got over my crush on Harry so I think Harry deserves a 10 and I don’t think I’ll take no for an answer. (Triwizard Tournament! Dumbledore’s Army! Time Travel! Dragons and Buckbeak!)

So who’s advancing to round 2 you ask? Everyone who achieved a rating higher than 3 and those boys are: Paul Slater-4, David-4, Ned Nickerson-4, Joe Hardy-4, Ed Fargo-4, Adam Flood-4, Will Wagner-5, James-5, Frank Hardy-5, Jameson Rook-5, Joe Morelli-5, Christopher Malony-6, Jesse de Silva-8, Michael Moscovitz-8 and Harry Potter with 10. So what’s happening in round 2? All candidates will be listed in one long and handy dandy list and the list will then be weeded down until I have my literary soulmate! Part V will be up much sooner than this post-promise!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 28, 2011 1:28 pm

    I beg to differ on literally all of the Meg Cabot guys – although Michael… mmmmm, Michael.

    We shall leave it at that.

    But you’re right; Harry Freaking Potter is a 10. Totally. Except in the movies, where he’s a 3.

    (:

    • February 28, 2011 1:54 pm

      Are you Team Paul? He tried to prevent Jesse from dying! Or are you against Christopher’s evil genius?

  2. Steph permalink
    March 8, 2012 6:35 pm

    Hi can I please use the Pretty little Liars picture for my year 9 project?

    • March 8, 2012 8:34 pm

      I don’t own the rights to the photo or Pretty Little Liars. Legally I can only use the photo if I site or credit my source in some way. I recomend clicking on the photo or the link underneath it (should be labeled Photo Source) and using that source. And Sara Shepard’s website would have even more photos to choose from (at a higher quality) and it would come from a more credible (and legal) site. Not that I’m saying you can’t use a photo I have on my site, but if you’re looking to use it in a project I’d recommend going as close to the source as possible.

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