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Round 2! Part V of My Search For the Perfect Literary Boyfriend

March 5, 2011

You know how I ranked all those literary characters during the month of February in an attempt to find the perfect literary boyfriend so I wouldn’t have to be single and along? Did you forget who ranked high enough to advance to round 2? Well here’s a list of all the boys who achieved an above average score (4 or higher) arranged by points than alphabetically by first name because that is how I role.

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The 28 Literary Characters Who Managed to Make Their Way to Round 2 of My Search for the Perfect Literary Boyfriend-In Color!

4
Adam Flood
David
Ed Fargo
Eragon
Joe Hardy
Ned Nickerson
Paul Slater
Scipio

4.5
Fang

5
Alec Ramsey
Daniel Hopper
Daystar
Edmund Pevensie
Frank Hardy
Will Wagner
James
Jameson Rook
Jared Howe
Joe Morelli

6
Christopher Malony
Daniel
Peter Pevensie
Prince Charmont
Prosper

8
Jesse de Silva
Michael Moscovitz

10
Harry Potter
Wesley

Now a smart person would be thinking ‘hey it’s down to Wesley & Harry now right?’ WRONG! The point thing was just a way to weed out the duds. This is actually the list of candidates for my Literary Boyfriend. The previous 4 posts were about finding the candidates, now that they have been found (thanks to my terrific Hufflepuff skills) I have to weed down this Top 28 to The Perfect Literary Boyfriend. Love is not about a perfect score, it’s about passion and devotion!

The best way to do that would be to look at what life would be like with each of these boys. We’ll start with the 4 pointers. If I like them they can advance to round 3. If I don’t their journey will come to an end. Let’s begin.

Adam Flood

Life with Adam would feature living in Cal-i-forn-ia and having a mega supportive guy to keep me from getting a big head when I end up with more money than I’m used to. (He’s rich but not overly i think, either way its more than I’m used to.) He’s also prone to being a really sweet guy so candle lit dinners and rose petals in the bathtub are two examples I can think of (that I think he did or some variation of it). Life with Adam would be good as he tried to avoid the drama the gang encountered (which never seemed as traumatizing as the drama on Gossip Girl). I give Adam a pass.

David

I have issues with government authority people. Granted his dad wouldn’t be president forever but he’ll always be president number whatever and probably always be in politics and David would probably have to attend at least a couple of the pointless political functions and while I have no objection to getting all dressed up and pretty I can only imagine how boring those parties would be without Justin Timberlake & Ke$ha blaring over the sound system (ah prom), I’m bored with this run on sentence now. However David is an artist and we could take his family money, run away and live in a secluded place and be free spirited artists together (with TiVo, TiVo is a must, and Netflix). However I don’t know if David would go for that. I say fail.

Ed Fargo

‘I left my heart- in New York City Baby!’ (That was me blog singing, it’s much better than my real singing.) New York, New York the place where people play chess for hours in Washington Park, people are environmentally friendly by taking public transportation, hot dog venders in the streets, the whole world compressed into one big city, a place where an insomniac will never run out of things to do, an ideal location. (Add I totally loved Ed while he was in a wheelchair btw and for future reference.) Ed would know all those cool spots. However now that he has full use of his legs he may return to his life as skate champion which would be both exciting and stressful. No one knows what he did after high school so life with Ed would be one open slate in the city with the biggest possibilities with a sweet yet sometimes lost guy. Life could be worse. I say Ed Fargo can pass.

Eragon

Can I automatically pass someone if life with them would mean A.) Dragons & B.) Magic? Ok war, family drama & a fourth book that STILL hasn’t come out yet (I swear Christopher Paolini is still alive and ‘working on it’ cross my heart and hope to spy.) aside, it would be really fun to live in Eragon’s world. And I’m certain Eragon’s would be an even better person once he loves someone who can actually return his affection. As for the whole war thing, it’s a con but if I view it as a sort of apocalypse and keep myself in a hospital type area durning battles I think I could handle it. Plus that would give Eragon bonus apocalypse survival points! Despite all the worry it would cause me I give Eragon a pass.

Joe Hardy

Ah Joe, life with you would be filled with dangerous crimes, sporting events, and hilarity. You’re like a cool version of Ned Nickerson! (See below) You even have a cooler name that doesn’t involve alliteration. And because you have so many female influences in your life you would (eventually) figure out that I am an independent woman who only needs a man to ‘entertain’ me and offer comfort, support & cohabitation/offspring. I could totally be the Bobby Singer to your Sam Winchester (the research person to his detective/hero person). Crime? Danger? He’ll protect me. It’ll keep life interesting. Joe Hardy you may advance to the next level.

Ned Nickerson

Would Ned even HAVE a life without Nancy? Because without her to keep safe, worry about and help solve crimes with he’s just a frat boy with a heart of gold. What would we DO all day? I’d have nothing to do except watch him play football and going to lake houses. Which would be fine if this were real life and I had a life of my own but this is Perfect Fantasy Land! I think I can come up with something a little bit better. Ned you just sad failed.

Paul Slater

OMG I can be evil! OMG I’d have to be evil. *Dilemma* I don’t think I could handle the evil for long periods of time even if he is rich and knows the secrets of time travel and talks to the dead. Paul Slater you may not pass go and no you may not have $200.

Scipio

Italy! Si! Si! Oh wait you’re actually a 13 year old in a 23(?) year old body. What’s your maturity level? Eww! I’m like cougaring him. Delete! Delete! Delete!

Fang

You left me!!!! (ok he left Max but still) We could have saved the world together, us and your family, protecting each other from evil but no! You had to leave and go hunt for a ‘new family’ because you don’t think you and Max can be together right now. I want you, your crazy life and your crazy family (except Angel who must be dealt with. Iggy & The Gasman can blow up anything they want, really). As of right now I am no longer talking to you. *Insert Talk to the Hand movement*

Alec Ramsey

Horses! Lots and lots of horses! Live, eat and breath horses! And horse racing! And traveling! Ok a little out dated but I could totally handle being a housewife and wearing dresses if it means traveling with my husband and watching him win races. I’d even be ok if money was tight, I don’t need much. Alec is pretty mature for his age, always has been, thou I wonder if he’d still know how to have fun. Hmmm. But horses! Ok Alec despite my baggage concerning your name and your shortness (long story) you may continue towards the finish line.

Daniel Hopper

I think I’ve been abducted! Life with Daniel would be all about chasing down dangerous aliens, righting wrongs, using his imagination to create anything and everything we could possibly want and avenging his parents death. Daniel’s got some serious baggage but I think I can look past it. Dangerous aliens trying to kill me? Bring it on? I guess that’s an invitation to advance to round 3.

Daystar

Magical fantasy world! Where dragons are nice and talk! With the politest guy ever who’s a prince to boot. I can be a princess in a magical land, I think it is my destiny. Daystar you may now pass go and collect $200.

Edmund Pevensie

I’m sorry Edmund but I’ll always love your brother more than you. It’s not you, it’s me. Please don’t cry, here have a Turkish Delight.

Frank Hardy

Ah Frank, life with you would be a lot like life with your brother but better because we have more in common like remembering to pack clean underwear when going on a trip. (Joe has been know to forget this in newer installments.) I’d also have less worrying to do with you though as you’re not nearly as reckless and thoughtless as Joe. You appreciate studying and brains in addition to always having a plan of action; life with you wouldn’t be to bad actually. Frank Hardy you may continue to round 3.

Will Wagner

Now that Will has excepted his destiney as the reincarnation of Prince Arthur (I’m sorry I couldn’t resist. I just type those words and think ‘hey I have a video I can link here’. I’ll work on my addiction. Next week.) I think he’ll be more likely to pursue his dreams and make a name for himself and save the world. You know all that good stuff. Does he have a house of his own? No. A job? No. Is he working things out with his parents so he’s not a complete failure at life? I think so. Will you’re on probation. I love you but you need to do some shaping up here. Destiney isn’t everything you know.

James

Hmm. A normal boy who loves music and seeing bands play as much as I do. And has a normal crappy teenager job. Life with him would be very realistic and heck even plausibale. Sure he likes far less Top 40 pop than I do but I think our tastes would mesh well enough to get by. And he’s a pretty groovy guy so I think he deserves a pass.

Jameson Rook

For this relationship to work I’d have to be the Beckett to his Castle, err, I mean I’d have to be his Nikki Heat. Sexy NYPD cop? IDK if I could pull off even one of those two things. Would Rook be any good with a simple, girl next door, Kindergarten teacher/writer? I’m not sure. You have to admit the guy has some serious charm but I don’t think we’d fit together. Who knows what he’d be like if taken to far out of his comfort zone? Some things should not be split up, like ham & cheese sandwiches, left & right, Batman & Robin, Rook & Heat are a set and should not be split up. So Jameson? Fail.


Jared Howe

An alien apocalypse that warrents making a bazillion Dollhouse references? Sign me up! Oh wait no tv. (Crap some of those other guys lack tv too. Hmmm, they are ok because they are in a magical world. This is real world, real world warrents tv demands.) I think I could handle the living off the land, no books, no tv, living in an underground-yeah I’m jumping ship on this one. Next!


Joe Morelli

Retire from bounty hunter business? Check. Become a perfect housewife? Check? Move to New Jersey? Say what! That Snooki bitch will be like, right there dudes. I avoid everything having to do with that chick and the shore in general. But Morelli is so wonderful! And it’s not like he lives on the shore or anything, I’d be in the big hair/big boobs part of Jersey. And worry about his grandmother giving me, ‘the eye’. (Fear the eye. The woman is Itallian. Sh*t might happen at any moment.) I’m torn on you now Morelli. I love you but I just don’t know if it will work. Let’s continue this relationship and see what happens.

Christopher Malony

Another Cabot boy. Hmm. You love Em because she is Em not because she is the extremely desirable Nikki Howard. You’re a video game addict, are slightly villainous so you’ve got just enough bad boy in you to make life with your nerdy comic book reading self interesting. I think we could get along splendidly. We’re nerdy enough to be compatible despite our differing tastes (thou because you are a Cabot character I’m sure you at least know who Joss Whedon is) yet we’re both normal enough to function in the ‘real world’ those losers talk about. Because I have no plans on dying at the hands of an evil company we could use your evil tendencies for good rather than revenge. Christopher Brink, er, Maloney you may pass. (It always comes down to a Dollhouse reference. I just can’t help it.)

Daniel

Ah yes Mr. Devil’s Protégée, I think you’re alive. I bought Serphent’s Storm last week and I think you may be alive. (Haven’t read it yet and it’s been a year since I read Cat’s Claw.) There’s no lying, your pretty sexy and dangerous. Granted if you are still alive which is debatable you will one day become The Devil but as we saw in the case of Death that doesn’t mean you’re evil, it just means you’re immortal and have a job. Could be worse. However because you may be dead and it was often hard to tell where your loyalties lay in Death’s Daughter I’m going to pass. I’m sorry, it was the possibly dead thing that did it for me.

Peter Pevensie

Ah yes, my favorite Pevensie brother. Now I’m not quite sure how a relationship with you would work as in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe you spend so much time in Narnia that you start the grow old and forget about your life back in England. We could be very happy in Narnia. However eventually you are brought back to England and you are a hot young teenager again and live your life as a normal teenager after another quick trip to Narnia again. We could also be very happy in England. But then everybody dies see and they go to the ultimate heaven because they have been saved and all that good Christian stuff. We could also be very happy in ultimate heaven. I say pass because I have a major crush on your sword skills even thou they have nothing to do with the above paragraph at all.

Prince Charmont

I could be a princess in a magical world filled with crazy fairy godmothers and a prince who fell in love with my writing, is it just me or does this sound a lot like heaven? I think it does. I am actually highly qualified to be a princess as I know how the ‘little people’ feel as I have spent my whole life as one of them, much like the beloved Princess Diane. Char, you may continue.

Prosper

Again with the cougar thing. La sigh. Prosper I love you I really do but I fear our love can never be. Call me when you’re 20 mkay? I’ll be 27 than and maybe we can make it work. Actually I’ll call you.

Jesse de Silva

ANGEL!!!!!! Ok no more, actually yes there will be several Buffy references. I want to be the Buffy to your Angel and because this is a Meg Cabot love story not a Joss Whedon one our story will end happily. We’ll be together! The last novel left the future fairly open ended by way of Jesse’s future but that is ok, we can make our own future together, ghostbusting and living like two humans very much on love in Cal-I-forn-ia! You may not move to LA and take down Wolfram & Hart, you must stay here with me!

Michael Moscovitz

Michael! I love you quite dearly you know. Really. Life with you would feature you saving the world, me writing novels and the two of us living together in New York while watching Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and after you introduce me to it-Xena: Warrior Princess. I can write you dozens of badly rhymed love poems that you can turn into decent love songs when you’re not busy writing me songs which will be all the more reason to dedicate every book I write to you. I think your pass was predictable from the start.

Harry Potter

Now that Voldemort has been defeated and you’re short an actual degree in anything due to the fact that you didn’t go your final year of school you have to rebuild the ministry into an actual government that I can tolerate. Other than that you have your whole life ahead of you and no real plans. We can rebuild the wizarding world together, a wizard and a muggle, it would be epic. A love story that transcends all. I’d only be jealous of you wizard powers constantly but what relationship is perfect? I gladly give you a pass.

Wesley

Last but never least Wesley. Pirate, farmboy, hero, we could totally and completely ignore everything that happened in that bonus chapter ‘Buttercup’s Baby’ and sail the seven seas you as the dread pirate Roberts and me as your bride (all sexy pirate gods have one. Its the new thing.) or we could settle down on a farm somewhere. No matter where we go you’d be able to make me happy which is very important after all. Your advancement to the next round was inevitable.

! What a list. That brings our top 28 down to a top 18 with the following boys still standing: Adam Flood, Ed Fargo, Eragon, Joe Hardy, Alec Ramsey, Daniel Hopper, Daystar, Frank Hardy, Will Wagner, James, Joe Morelli, Christopher Maloney, Peter Pevensie, Prince Charmont, Jesse de Silva, Michael Moscovitz, Harry Potter and Wesley. Round 3 will be taking place shortly to further narrow down my choices if that’s even possible.

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